Mystery Solved

Paul and I were wondering if my previous cryo surgery could have caused scar tissue, which is making it difficult for me to dilate. Before we could even ask the doctor, he said he was going to poke at me with sticks (in medical terms, of course) to see if he needed to break through scar tissue. Sure enough, I have scar tissue galore.

The following is a run through of what happened during our appointment yesterday. We get called back and I have gained 4 pounds in a week. The whole "drink a gallon of water a day" is a catch 22. I drink until I am too full to eat, and then I retain the water like a sponge and feel fat when I go in to get weighed. I know I am not fat. I am proud of my baby body, but some days are just harder to deal with than others. Especially when I know I am not progressing. So I go into the exam room and the nurse catches me crying (Paul was in the potty and was oblivious). the nurse is concerned, and I told her to just ignore me. I am tired, hormonal and in pain. My BP was perfect and my belly is measuring perfectly. Baby's heart rate sounded wonderful. Doctor comes in and tells the nurse to "go get some of the plastic dilators", I tell her to get the biggest ones she can find.

Doctor comes back in, pokes at me and props me up in the stirrups. Some of the next information may be TMI, but it's still memories for me. Just a warning to the squeemish. Doctor says it looks like my cervix is open a little bit, and he pokes at it with some plastic sticks. Not fun! Doctor says, "This hurts. I know". I say, "I'm pretty sure you don't know". To which he agrees. He says he is trying to break through scar tissue to see of he can get me to dilate enough for him to get his "big fingers" through. Speculum comes out and doctor attempts to break through with his finger. After trying to push through for a little while, he tells me to prop my hips up on my fists to try to move my cervix down further. He even tries coaxing my cervix, "come on down to me cervix", but to no avail. He can't get through. Meanwhile, nurse and Paul and rubbing my arms and my hair and I am practicing my breathing and singing Tom Petty songs in my head. All of which worked.

Doctor goes back in with the speculum to see what will fit through my tiny, closed cervix. He finds another stick of some sort, and that goes through without a problem. So he pokes around some more and decided he is going to poke at me with his finger one more time. He says, "I am going to try one more time", and I say "try really, really hard". He definitely listened. He told me to tell him when it got to be too much, and I told him to just do whatever he had to. I thought I knew pain before, but this was a whole brand new experience. It didn't hurt like cutting myself would hurt. It was mostly a lot of pressure. I told the doctor I was afraid I might pee on him, and he said it wouldn't be the first time. The nurse said I should just do it as pay back. Finally, finally the doctor says, "there we go. I got through!" Oh hooray!!!!!! He next tries to get his "fattest finger" through and once again succeeds. Hooray some more!!! He says, "I am stretching your cervix to try to break all of the scar tissue and keep you dilated". OWEEE!

Doctor, nurse and Paul all pat me and tell me I did wonderfully. I feel really proud of myself, as well. Doctor said he was able to get all the way through my cervix and even poke Baby in the head (knock knock Baby. It's time to come out!). There is guarantee that what he did will put me in labor any time soon, but at least we got through all the scar tissue. It's likely my body has been trying, but there was just too much. Doctor and nurse are both pretty sure I am going to pass out at any minute. Doctor says, "I'm not usually that aggressive, but I had to be in this case". I told him I was glad he was. Nurse says, "oh! You're shaking", and I say, "I'm sure I am!" I had to take a few seconds to compose myself, but I was so much happier. We had made progress. Progress I would likely never have made on my own!

All through the night and for much of today, I have been cramping. Boy do I hope these cramps are actually dong something now. Baby is pretty upset that he or she got poked in the head and has been extra aggressive today, but that's okay! You're days inside me are numbered, Baby!!!! I just hope that now we can do this on our own without an induction. This weekend seems like a good time to have a baby. I don't have anything else planned. Paul's ski time may get cut short, but he'll get over it. Wish us luck! At the very least, I will post another update after our next appointment on Thursday, but I really hope to have something to say before then!