We are all doing it right now. Emma is learning that she absolutely CANNOT cover Asher with blankets or sit on him. Even if he laughs maniacally the entire time. She is also learning if she refuses to eat what is offered at meal times, she will be a very hungry little girl later. The biggest thing Emma is learning is NO MEANS NO. No does not mean be quiet and do it while Mommy's back is turned. It does not mean look in the opposite direction and do it anyway. No means "if you don't stop you will go to time out and STAY there even if you howl the entire time". Not everything is learned the hard way, though. Emma is catching on to sign language like she's know it all along. Maybe all the work we did with her when she was a baby (and refused to do anything other than more and please) helped set the foundation. Counting and identifying letters has been a piece of cake for Emma. The only letters she still has trouble with are S and V. She knows all the others. Counting to 20 is almost an accomplished task. I just have to help her with 11.
Asher is learning that rolling around with your mouth open will result in losing the pacifier. Rolling all around in general will also get Asher wedged in strange positions in his crib. All of this rolling is leading to VERY long nights for Mommy. Asher is learning that arms are required to hold your face out of the carpet while he is on his belly. Leaning forward to reach a toy may result in a faceplant. Flailing wildly while "stuck" on his belly will not magically flip Asher back onto his bottom. The one thing Asher is not learning is that crawling would solve just about all of these problems. A part of me thinks it is bound to happen some time soon. Another part of me if scared to death that he will just prefer to scream and flail until he's 20.
Paul is learning that continuous fire assignments may bring good money to pay off bills, but they also lead to a very stressed out, pissy wife. Paul is also learning that his little princess has become a banshee and her fits are no longer cute or easily controlled. I hope he is learning that cuddling and coddling an out of control 2 year old does not end well for anyone in the long run. At the very least, I know he's learning that cuddling and coddling an out of control 2 year old will result in a furious wife. I cannot say for sure what else Paul is learning the hard way, because I really only get to see him about once a week for about an hour... if that.
I am learning that being a stay at home mom out in the middle of nowhere without friends or family is very, VERY hard. I am learning that TV is not the devil. It is sometimes a means to an end when it's too hot to go outside or Asher is too restless to be content with being held while outside. I am learning that grass is not a waste of space or water. If we had grass, Asher would be able to play outside and then Emma would be, too. I am learning that free range chickens prefer committing suicide to living peacefully in a big yard. They are now penned up and not very happy. But at least they will be alive. I am learning that an 85 degree house makes for cranky kids and a grumpy mommy. I am learning that we are all making sacrifices to live the way we are in order to pay off bills. I knew that all along. I just didn't realize how hard some of these sacrifices would be.
Not everything here is all bad. The kids and I really do have more good times than bad. It's just been really hard not having Paul around. I miss my husband. I constantly wonder at what point family needs to become the priority over money. But money is what allows me to stay at home with the kids now. Extra money is what will pay off the bills and allow me to continue staying at home when we move. So there's a constant debate in my head. Do I beg Paul to please stop all this fire stuff? Do I suck it up another week? Month? Until October? November? If I beg him to stop and we move, will I have to start working again and regret my decision forever? Do I suck it up, become overly stressed and force my kids to live with a crazy person for two years. At least we have Bearizona to keep us out of trouble. Emma also reconnected with a friend in Williams, and we will start visiting her every Wednesday before going to Bearizona. That should make Emma a very happy girl and give her something to look forward to every week!
Friday, July 29, 2011
Thursday, July 21, 2011
Do stay at home mom's get vacations?
Poor Emma has been puking all evening. Asher is pissed at himself for not knowing how to crawl, so he's been falling and screaming all day. Nap time was non-existent, and I'm not sure whether or not I've had a chance to eat yet today. I feel torn with what I should do tonight. Do I stay in Emma's room with her and risk the monitor waking her up when Asher needs to eat or wakes up screaming when he discovers he is on his belly? Do I stay in our room with Asher and risk not knowing if Emma is getting sick in her bed? Do I sleep on the floor in the living room and hope I'll be able to hear everything from there? Oh how I miss Paul at times like these. I miss him when he's gone no matter what, but I really miss my "partner" right now. I feel so horrible for Emma. My heart hurts for her. She threw up on one of our chairs and later said, "oh no. I sit it out on the chair". I made sure she knew it would be okay. Poor kid. I am terrified Asher is going to get sick. I am really hoping this is just heat related. No one else needs to go through what poor Emma is having to. Well... I think since both kids are passed out for the time being, I'll go try to find something to eat. Pray Emma feels better in the morning!
Sunday, July 17, 2011
Back on track
It has been 6 months since my last post, and a lot has obviously happened. I'll just try to summarize and then stay on track from now on.
Us: We moved to a new house that is "off the grid", which has allowed me to become a stay at home. It has been a bit of an adjustment, because we have to really conserve electricity (the house is solar powered), and we are at least half an hour from any stores or restaurants. We have seven chickens, and the kids love them. It's nice to have fresh eggs every day, and chickens are a piece of cake to take care of. The dogs, much to their dismay, have become primarily outdoor dogs for the rest of the summer. The house is just too small, and they shed way too much. We try to spend some time with them everyday, and Emma loves to play with them and give them treats.
Paul: Paul has been on three fires since the start of the summer. I know it's hard work and long hours, but Paul will do just about anything to help us pay off bills faster. He also likes to do anything he can to make his resume that much more impressive so he can become a district ranger sometime in the near future. I am constantly amazed at what a hard worker Paul is. Emma and Paul have become very close. He is like the best toy she's ever had. They love to play and wrestle and cuddle. While he's on fires, I tell Emma he's at work. When he comes home, it's like Christmas time for her.
Emma: I had no idea "toddlers" could be so clever. Even though she is still considered a toddler, it's hard for me to think of her as that. She seems more like a preschooler. Emma can almost count to 20 (she does it best if some one counts with her), and I only tried teaching her a few days ago. She can identify about half of the alphabet, at least 11 shapes and at least 10 colors. Emma speaks in very clear elaborate sentences. "I wanna go outside and feed the chickens, please". "Do you hear that sound? It's an airplane!" Swimming has become an absolute passion for Emma, and she has absolutely no fear of the water. Emma still goes to daycare about every other Friday to play with her friends. I think Emma will be very happy once Asher is a little more mobile. She loves him to no end, but sometimes she wants to play with him in ways he's just not ready for yet. When Asher wakes up, Emma will turn out his sound machine and sing or talk to him until I get him up. Speaking of singing... Emma can sing all of her favorite songs. She may gets the words mixed up sometimes, but that makes it even cuter!
Asher: Asher will be 7 months old in a few days. He can sit, roll and is babbling quite a bit. He loves to sleep on his tummy, but he gets really mad when he wakes up and refuses to roll back over. He just lays there and screams. It is very obvious that Asher would like to crawl and explore, but he is very impatient and won't even try. He just lays on his belly and yells. I remember Emma doing the same thing, and she was so much happier once she figured it out. I hope the same happens for Asher. Asher has had a very rough 7 months. He started out with reflux and poopy issues. Teething was horrible for him. Oh yeah! He's got his two bottom teeth! Once he got past all of that, he started to get really fussy again and was crying non stop all day. I tried giving him bottles of formula and offering more food. Nothing seemed to help. One day I gave him a different bottle because I was too lazy to do dishes. He loved the bottle and guzzled down the formula. Ever since, he has been a happy little guy. It was a long six weeks, but we are all a lot less stressed and getting much better sleep now.
Me: Being a stay at home mom is much harder than I thought it would be. It's easier on the days I take the kids into town to play at the park or run errands, but gas is too expensive to do that too often. Now that Asher is happier, we are able to spend more time outside. As long as the kids are happy, I'm happy! Emma and I like to cook and bake together. We made some pies and a Thai beef salad today. I try to work on school activities with Emma at least once a day, which has become much easier with a happier Asher. The kids are on the same afternoon napping schedule, so I'm able to take naps when I need them now. Asher usually wakes up about 20 minutes before Emma. So I bring him into bed with me for some snuggle and play time with just him and me. Living out here can be hard at times, but it is worth it to be able to spend so much time with Emma and Asher. I don't feel rushed to cook and clean while trying to squeeze in quality time with the kids anymore. I'm still not a very good house keeper, but I'm trying. Again... it's getting easier now that Asher is happier.
Us: We moved to a new house that is "off the grid", which has allowed me to become a stay at home. It has been a bit of an adjustment, because we have to really conserve electricity (the house is solar powered), and we are at least half an hour from any stores or restaurants. We have seven chickens, and the kids love them. It's nice to have fresh eggs every day, and chickens are a piece of cake to take care of. The dogs, much to their dismay, have become primarily outdoor dogs for the rest of the summer. The house is just too small, and they shed way too much. We try to spend some time with them everyday, and Emma loves to play with them and give them treats.
Paul: Paul has been on three fires since the start of the summer. I know it's hard work and long hours, but Paul will do just about anything to help us pay off bills faster. He also likes to do anything he can to make his resume that much more impressive so he can become a district ranger sometime in the near future. I am constantly amazed at what a hard worker Paul is. Emma and Paul have become very close. He is like the best toy she's ever had. They love to play and wrestle and cuddle. While he's on fires, I tell Emma he's at work. When he comes home, it's like Christmas time for her.
Emma: I had no idea "toddlers" could be so clever. Even though she is still considered a toddler, it's hard for me to think of her as that. She seems more like a preschooler. Emma can almost count to 20 (she does it best if some one counts with her), and I only tried teaching her a few days ago. She can identify about half of the alphabet, at least 11 shapes and at least 10 colors. Emma speaks in very clear elaborate sentences. "I wanna go outside and feed the chickens, please". "Do you hear that sound? It's an airplane!" Swimming has become an absolute passion for Emma, and she has absolutely no fear of the water. Emma still goes to daycare about every other Friday to play with her friends. I think Emma will be very happy once Asher is a little more mobile. She loves him to no end, but sometimes she wants to play with him in ways he's just not ready for yet. When Asher wakes up, Emma will turn out his sound machine and sing or talk to him until I get him up. Speaking of singing... Emma can sing all of her favorite songs. She may gets the words mixed up sometimes, but that makes it even cuter!
Asher: Asher will be 7 months old in a few days. He can sit, roll and is babbling quite a bit. He loves to sleep on his tummy, but he gets really mad when he wakes up and refuses to roll back over. He just lays there and screams. It is very obvious that Asher would like to crawl and explore, but he is very impatient and won't even try. He just lays on his belly and yells. I remember Emma doing the same thing, and she was so much happier once she figured it out. I hope the same happens for Asher. Asher has had a very rough 7 months. He started out with reflux and poopy issues. Teething was horrible for him. Oh yeah! He's got his two bottom teeth! Once he got past all of that, he started to get really fussy again and was crying non stop all day. I tried giving him bottles of formula and offering more food. Nothing seemed to help. One day I gave him a different bottle because I was too lazy to do dishes. He loved the bottle and guzzled down the formula. Ever since, he has been a happy little guy. It was a long six weeks, but we are all a lot less stressed and getting much better sleep now.
Me: Being a stay at home mom is much harder than I thought it would be. It's easier on the days I take the kids into town to play at the park or run errands, but gas is too expensive to do that too often. Now that Asher is happier, we are able to spend more time outside. As long as the kids are happy, I'm happy! Emma and I like to cook and bake together. We made some pies and a Thai beef salad today. I try to work on school activities with Emma at least once a day, which has become much easier with a happier Asher. The kids are on the same afternoon napping schedule, so I'm able to take naps when I need them now. Asher usually wakes up about 20 minutes before Emma. So I bring him into bed with me for some snuggle and play time with just him and me. Living out here can be hard at times, but it is worth it to be able to spend so much time with Emma and Asher. I don't feel rushed to cook and clean while trying to squeeze in quality time with the kids anymore. I'm still not a very good house keeper, but I'm trying. Again... it's getting easier now that Asher is happier.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
