Returning to the 21st century.

Paul and I have been going back and forth about whether we wanted to move into a different house. One came available, but it wasn't ideal... but then again, what is? The house is in a complex, so there would be people to befriend and pile cookies upon. We would have unlimited electricity and water. There are these beautiful green things called trees, and the kids would have a yard to play in. Unfortunately, this move would mean an even longer commute for Paul. We already spend way too much money a month on gas, and during the week he is home an average of two hours a day. We finally decided to just go ahead and do it, and that very night I was given a sign that we had made the right decision.

Since our house is solar powered, our water is gravity fed from a cistern in the roof. We run the pump to fill the water during the day while we have sunlight. To fill the electricity gaps, we use a generator. Well... I take a shower with the kids to try to conserve water and keep from using it all up during the night. I had the generator going since it had been cloudy all day. Just as I shampooed my hair, I noticed the water was slower than usual. I jumper out and turned on the pump and then frantically tried to rise the shampoo out. The hot water went completely out, and using cold winter water was out of the question. Luckily I had gotten most of the shampoo out.

I waited for the water to fill back up and proceeded to finish cooking dinner for Paul and myself. As I was cooking, I noticed the lights were getting weak and the generator sounded funny. Long story short, our generator crapper out, and we didn't have enough battery power to refill the water. Needless to say, we moved into the new house the next day... in a snow storm.

Now we have lights, water pressure and I can use a microwave to cook dinner if I am feeling lazy. We have been in the house just shy of two weeks, and I have already made fudge, cookies, chocolate covered pretzels and banana bread. My refrigerator and freezer are big enough to hold more than 5 things, and I feel like I am living the high life.

Living off the grid really helped me put things in perspective. I thought I needed a big house with big rooms and lots of stuff. It turned out I just really need water, electricity, neighbors and my family to be a happy lady! The dogs love the nice big yard and neighbors coming by to pet them. The kids like the extra space to explore. Paul is fine with the commute, because happy kids and a happy wife make for a happy Paul. He is such a trouper. Oh and we got to keep the chickens, too. That just makes me extra happy.

Never a dull moment!

Since I last posted, so many things have happened!

Asher had his first Halloween. We took them to Flagstaff, and both kids had a blast. Asher was a lion...
And Emma was Jessie The Cowgirl. I cried a little at how grown up Emma seemed. Asher charmed candy at each stop, while Emma insisted on asking "please" instead of saying "trick-or-treat... which I was completely fine with!

I have a new brother in law. This time it's on my side. Sam and Larry got married! I am so happy for them. It's awesome to be able to call Larry my sister's husband. It's fun to be able to say she is married now. It will be fun to see her sign something with her new last name.

Asher loved his first Thanksgiving. He chowed down...
while Emma ate crackers and drew pictures in the pumpkin pie.

I love how completely opposite Asher and Emma are. He laughs so freely, and we really have to work to get laughs from Emma. Emma is so chatty and friendly to everyone, while Asher just prefers to watch quietly from the safety of my arms. Emma has always loved her Grammy and Auntie, and Asher lights up whenever he sees his Papa or Uncle Larry. Asher sleeps like a dream at night, and Emma always insisted on a cup of milk around 2AM. Emma flew through milestones. She was talking at 8 months, walking at 10 months and was always so independent. Asher is pretty sure having his sister speak for him and having grown-ups carry him from place to place is the way to go.

Paul is possibly leaving to go to DC for three months next week, and we just found out about this yesterday. I really hope this works out for Paul, because I know it's a Detail he was really hoping to get. However, I really hope it works out that the kids and I get to go as well. I originally said I wanted no part in DC this time of year, but that was before it became a real possibility. If we can find a place to rent that will keep us within his per diem budget that will allow us to have Gambel, everything else is taken care if. My fingers are soooo crossed!

Last but not least, the events to come!

Asher is turning 1!

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Paul's birthday, Christmas and our anniversary are all just around the corner. This won't technically be Asher's first Christmas, but it will be the first one he is actually awake for! Emma is finally old enough to understand that Santa is a pretty cool guy, Christmas cookies are the best and presents are fantastic. We can't wait!

Asher speaks!

Asher decided to tell us what her really thinks of while he is babbling as said his first word. And the word was... Emma! They like to blow raspberries at each other. We were in the car, and Asher was blowing raspberries, and Emma wasn't paying any attention. Asher yelled out "Emma" and blew another raspberry. He did this several times. I've thought for a few days that Asher was saying Emma's name, and there was no denying he was for sure doing it this time. Emma and Asher have been very close from day one, and I am not surprised she was his first word. Emma thinks it's pretty cool that Asher says her name.

Since saying "Emma", Asher has also figured out who "mama" is. This isn't said as sweetly as "Emma" is. When Asher wants something (generally a bottle), he will follow me around the house yelling "mama! Mamamamamama! MAMA!". Asher also says "dada", but he hasn't started calling Paul "dada" yet. He just like to babble it. I am sure in the next week or so, Asher will make the connection.

Walking is progressing slowly but surely. Asher will stand on his own for short periods of time. He will take steps if we hold his hands, but he has no desire to take steps on his own yet. Soon enough. We are in no rush.

Emma is Emma. Smart and silly. Pretty and dirty. We are working on spelling words with her. She can spell her name and Asher's. She is very close to spelling "mommy" and "daddy". Emma can count to 50 and is learning to count how many of something there is. She can sing most of the words to her favorite songs on her own, and the poor kid still can't carry a tune in a bucket. I have never loved a singing voice more than Emma's.

The important stuff

I should be posting about Asher's 9 month appointment and Emma's 2.5 year appointment. I should be telling you all about Asher's new teeth or how off I was on his 8 month measurements I attempted to take at home. I should be telling you about how smart Emma is and how she is seemingly psychic. Instead, I am going to share a little story with you. Enjoy!

Emma: My tummy's talking.
Me: Really? What's it saying?
Emma: It's singing Twinkle Little Star. My butt sings, too. With a measuring cup.
Me: ...

We were in the shower during this conversation. Emma proceeds to sing Twinkle Little Star while rinsing her bottom with a measuring cup. It gets "stuck" on her butt cheek.

Emma: Oh! Oh! It's stuck in my butt!
Me: It's not stuck. Just move it.
Emma: It's sooooo stuck! ::moves measuring cup away from rear end:: Whew! I did it! It's off! That was sooooo close!
Me: ...

Apparently that was a life or death situation. I'm glad it all worked out in the end for her.

Now THAT is the stuff baby book should be make out of.

Asher at 8 months

I will attempt to refrain from going on and on about how quickly time is passing and just give the facts.

Height and Weight: About 26 inches and 18.5 pounds
Teeth: Bottom two front teeth are through and several top teeth seem to be on their way
Milestones reached: Asher...

• sleeps through the night when his teeth are not hurting.
• decided he was done nursing, so we had to switch to formula.
• also decided he is a big boy and purees are for babies, so he is eating various finger foods and most of what we eat for meals.
• can crawl on his hands and knees, pull up to stand and climb up his toys.
• attempted to take a step today and failed big time. He only cried for a second (out of shock probably), so it's okay to laugh.

Favorite toy: Anything he is not supposed to have. Like the edges of the safety mats we have on the floor.
Security Object: His tiny blankey. While traveling, he snuggles with an elephant Grammy bought for him.
Ticklish spots: Collar bone and toes. He laughs so hard he makes complete strangers giggle.
Favorite pastimes:

• When he is being held, Asher loves for the person holding him to jump.
• Any game Emma is playing. He just watches her and smiles all day.
• Dancing and listening to us sing is always a favorite.
• Visiting the dogs or chickens is always good for a giggle.
• Playing in the shower with Mommy and Emma is how he prefers to get clean now.
• Swimming! Just like the rest of his family.

Asher is a very social baby and loves just about everyone he has ever met. He spent a day at daycare, and only cried a little. When I went to pick him up, he was sitting on the floor playing. Once he saw me, he laughed and laughed. Everyone who has met Asher just loves him. He is just such a happy and sweet little guy. It's easy to know when something is really bothering him, because then he will get fussy and upset. While having another baby has been hard at times, I wouldn't trade a single minute of it. We all love Asher so much!

I can do it myself!

I woke up yesterday to Emma crawling over my bed. I noticed she was naked, but that is nothing new for her. I got out of bed, went into the bathroom and noticed the house smelled nasty. We have some chicks in the house, so I chalked it up to that. I got Asher out of his crib and was just about to change him when Emma called to me. She was laying in my bed with her legs way up in the air. The day took a horrible turn when she said, "look, Mommy! Poop!" She had poo smeared all down her legs and all over her feet. The same little legs that were sliding all over my sheets. The same little feet that had been running around the house for God only knows how long. Poor Asher Babe had to go back into the crib with out his morning bottle. Luckily he had woken up later than usual for his middle of the night feeding, so I knew he wasn't starving... yet. Emma was promptly plopped into the shower.

By this time I noticed I had stepped in poo at some point. Needless to say, the whole house got mopped and my bed got stripped. Emma was scrubbed from head to toe. The odd thing is that I never found any evidence of WHERE Emma had pooed. Her pull up was in the trash... wet and soggy but not pooed in. I asked Emma over and over if she had gone poopy. Every time, she said, "Yeah, Mommy! I poopy rocks right here." All while pointing to the toilet. I guess she woke up and tried to go potty by herself. I was proud but definitely horrified at the same time.

Learning the hard way

We are all doing it right now. Emma is learning that she absolutely CANNOT cover Asher with blankets or sit on him. Even if he laughs maniacally the entire time. She is also learning if she refuses to eat what is offered at meal times, she will be a very hungry little girl later. The biggest thing Emma is learning is NO MEANS NO. No does not mean be quiet and do it while Mommy's back is turned. It does not mean look in the opposite direction and do it anyway. No means "if you don't stop you will go to time out and STAY there even if you howl the entire time". Not everything is learned the hard way, though. Emma is catching on to sign language like she's know it all along. Maybe all the work we did with her when she was a baby (and refused to do anything other than more and please) helped set the foundation. Counting and identifying letters has been a piece of cake for Emma. The only letters she still has trouble with are S and V. She knows all the others. Counting to 20 is almost an accomplished task. I just have to help her with 11.

Asher is learning that rolling around with your mouth open will result in losing the pacifier. Rolling all around in general will also get Asher wedged in strange positions in his crib. All of this rolling is leading to VERY long nights for Mommy. Asher is learning that arms are required to hold your face out of the carpet while he is on his belly. Leaning forward to reach a toy may result in a faceplant. Flailing wildly while "stuck" on his belly will not magically flip Asher back onto his bottom. The one thing Asher is not learning is that crawling would solve just about all of these problems. A part of me thinks it is bound to happen some time soon. Another part of me if scared to death that he will just prefer to scream and flail until he's 20.

Paul is learning that continuous fire assignments may bring good money to pay off bills, but they also lead to a very stressed out, pissy wife. Paul is also learning that his little princess has become a banshee and her fits are no longer cute or easily controlled. I hope he is learning that cuddling and coddling an out of control 2 year old does not end well for anyone in the long run. At the very least, I know he's learning that cuddling and coddling an out of control 2 year old will result in a furious wife. I cannot say for sure what else Paul is learning the hard way, because I really only get to see him about once a week for about an hour... if that.

I am learning that being a stay at home mom out in the middle of nowhere without friends or family is very, VERY hard. I am learning that TV is not the devil. It is sometimes a means to an end when it's too hot to go outside or Asher is too restless to be content with being held while outside. I am learning that grass is not a waste of space or water. If we had grass, Asher would be able to play outside and then Emma would be, too. I am learning that free range chickens prefer committing suicide to living peacefully in a big yard. They are now penned up and not very happy. But at least they will be alive. I am learning that an 85 degree house makes for cranky kids and a grumpy mommy. I am learning that we are all making sacrifices to live the way we are in order to pay off bills. I knew that all along. I just didn't realize how hard some of these sacrifices would be.

Not everything here is all bad. The kids and I really do have more good times than bad. It's just been really hard not having Paul around. I miss my husband. I constantly wonder at what point family needs to become the priority over money. But money is what allows me to stay at home with the kids now. Extra money is what will pay off the bills and allow me to continue staying at home when we move. So there's a constant debate in my head. Do I beg Paul to please stop all this fire stuff? Do I suck it up another week? Month? Until October? November? If I beg him to stop and we move, will I have to start working again and regret my decision forever? Do I suck it up, become overly stressed and force my kids to live with a crazy person for two years. At least we have Bearizona to keep us out of trouble. Emma also reconnected with a friend in Williams, and we will start visiting her every Wednesday before going to Bearizona. That should make Emma a very happy girl and give her something to look forward to every week!

Do stay at home mom's get vacations?

Poor Emma has been puking all evening. Asher is pissed at himself for not knowing how to crawl, so he's been falling and screaming all day. Nap time was non-existent, and I'm not sure whether or not I've had a chance to eat yet today. I feel torn with what I should do tonight. Do I stay in Emma's room with her and risk the monitor waking her up when Asher needs to eat or wakes up screaming when he discovers he is on his belly? Do I stay in our room with Asher and risk not knowing if Emma is getting sick in her bed? Do I sleep on the floor in the living room and hope I'll be able to hear everything from there? Oh how I miss Paul at times like these. I miss him when he's gone no matter what, but I really miss my "partner" right now. I feel so horrible for Emma. My heart hurts for her. She threw up on one of our chairs and later said, "oh no. I sit it out on the chair". I made sure she knew it would be okay. Poor kid. I am terrified Asher is going to get sick. I am really hoping this is just heat related. No one else needs to go through what poor Emma is having to. Well... I think since both kids are passed out for the time being, I'll go try to find something to eat. Pray Emma feels better in the morning!

Back on track

It has been 6 months since my last post, and a lot has obviously happened. I'll just try to summarize and then stay on track from now on.

Us: We moved to a new house that is "off the grid", which has allowed me to become a stay at home. It has been a bit of an adjustment, because we have to really conserve electricity (the house is solar powered), and we are at least half an hour from any stores or restaurants. We have seven chickens, and the kids love them. It's nice to have fresh eggs every day, and chickens are a piece of cake to take care of. The dogs, much to their dismay, have become primarily outdoor dogs for the rest of the summer. The house is just too small, and they shed way too much. We try to spend some time with them everyday, and Emma loves to play with them and give them treats.

Paul: Paul has been on three fires since the start of the summer. I know it's hard work and long hours, but Paul will do just about anything to help us pay off bills faster. He also likes to do anything he can to make his resume that much more impressive so he can become a district ranger sometime in the near future. I am constantly amazed at what a hard worker Paul is. Emma and Paul have become very close. He is like the best toy she's ever had. They love to play and wrestle and cuddle. While he's on fires, I tell Emma he's at work. When he comes home, it's like Christmas time for her.

Emma: I had no idea "toddlers" could be so clever. Even though she is still considered a toddler, it's hard for me to think of her as that. She seems more like a preschooler. Emma can almost count to 20 (she does it best if some one counts with her), and I only tried teaching her a few days ago. She can identify about half of the alphabet, at least 11 shapes and at least 10 colors. Emma speaks in very clear elaborate sentences. "I wanna go outside and feed the chickens, please". "Do you hear that sound? It's an airplane!" Swimming has become an absolute passion for Emma, and she has absolutely no fear of the water. Emma still goes to daycare about every other Friday to play with her friends. I think Emma will be very happy once Asher is a little more mobile. She loves him to no end, but sometimes she wants to play with him in ways he's just not ready for yet. When Asher wakes up, Emma will turn out his sound machine and sing or talk to him until I get him up. Speaking of singing... Emma can sing all of her favorite songs. She may gets the words mixed up sometimes, but that makes it even cuter!

Asher: Asher will be 7 months old in a few days. He can sit, roll and is babbling quite a bit. He loves to sleep on his tummy, but he gets really mad when he wakes up and refuses to roll back over. He just lays there and screams. It is very obvious that Asher would like to crawl and explore, but he is very impatient and won't even try. He just lays on his belly and yells. I remember Emma doing the same thing, and she was so much happier once she figured it out. I hope the same happens for Asher. Asher has had a very rough 7 months. He started out with reflux and poopy issues. Teething was horrible for him. Oh yeah! He's got his two bottom teeth! Once he got past all of that, he started to get really fussy again and was crying non stop all day. I tried giving him bottles of formula and offering more food. Nothing seemed to help. One day I gave him a different bottle because I was too lazy to do dishes. He loved the bottle and guzzled down the formula. Ever since, he has been a happy little guy. It was a long six weeks, but we are all a lot less stressed and getting much better sleep now.

Me: Being a stay at home mom is much harder than I thought it would be. It's easier on the days I take the kids into town to play at the park or run errands, but gas is too expensive to do that too often. Now that Asher is happier, we are able to spend more time outside. As long as the kids are happy, I'm happy! Emma and I like to cook and bake together. We made some pies and a Thai beef salad today. I try to work on school activities with Emma at least once a day, which has become much easier with a happier Asher. The kids are on the same afternoon napping schedule, so I'm able to take naps when I need them now. Asher usually wakes up about 20 minutes before Emma. So I bring him into bed with me for some snuggle and play time with just him and me. Living out here can be hard at times, but it is worth it to be able to spend so much time with Emma and Asher. I don't feel rushed to cook and clean while trying to squeeze in quality time with the kids anymore. I'm still not a very good house keeper, but I'm trying. Again... it's getting easier now that Asher is happier.

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One month later...

It's been a month since Asher was born, and everything is going very well for all of us. Paul and I have had our ups and downs, but what couple doesn't during the first few weeks after bringing home a new baby? We are all getting much more rest now, and that has made a huge difference.


Asher was a sleeping machine the first week or so, but we hit a few speed bumps. He is a very gassy little guy, but we seem to have that under control now. Emma had a super nasty cold (it's actually STILL lingering), and Asher caught a touch of it. Mostly he just has a stuffy nose. He was sleeping very well in bed with us, but we were unable to keep him propped up enough once he got stuffy. He hated the bassinet, the vibrating lamb chair and both of his swings. Luckily, we found a bouncy chair on clearance at Target, and that did the trick. Some eucalyptus and rosemary oil in his humidifier and a whole lot of nose suctioning also helped! He is still stuffy, but he's back on track with sleep 3-4 hours at a stretch at night. Hooray!

Asher smiled for the first time today! What a way to celebrate his one month milestone. I didn't know if it was just a silly face or not, but he smiled again when I spoke to him in a silly voice. And he was looking right at me when he did it. He smiled several more times before I got the sense to try to take a picture. This one is the best I could get.


We have about an hour every night when Asher hates the world. It breaks our hearts, because he is such a happy baby otherwise. But from about 8pm-9pm, Asher is angry. It's not the full on meltdowns Emma had at his age (and still has, as a matter of fact... haha). He cries out a little and grunts a whole lot, but you can tell he is not happy. He will every once in a while cry his little heart out, but we think that was mostly due to his gurgley tummy. We just know to anticipate this, and a little snuggle goes a long way with him. He wants to suck all the time, but the silly guy just will not take a pacifier. His hands only make him mad, and... well... I have other things that need to be done, if you catch my drift. He'll figure it all out eventually, though. Actually, he gets better and better every day.

Emma is still her wonderful monstrous self! Her top two year molars are the only teeth she has left to cut, and we will all be so much happier once they finally come through. She has been miserable, and a miserable Emma takes everyone else down with her. The one plus to a cranky little lady is it makes her extra snuggly. However, we aren't always able to pick her up or have her on our laps, and that is NOT okay with her. The one person who can brighten her day no matter what, is Asher. She loves that little guy like nothing and no one else. When she goes to bed, she gives him the longest kiss and the biggest hug. She always tells him she loves him, and she hates when she can't see him. When we pick her up from school, the first thing she does is look for him and asks, "where Asher?" For as angry as Emma can get, she can be 5 times sweeter. She brings me water whenever I am feeding Asher. If I am holding Asher, she will sit there and just watch him or lay her head on him. If he starts fussing, she will drop everything to make sure we are taking care of him. The best thing we ever did for our little girl was give her a little brother to love so much.


I got a new car stereo for Christmas, but we don't use it for anything more than listening to Emma CDs. I am thankful to have a working CD player, though, or else I would have to do all the singing. Emma knows how to ask for her favorite songs now, and it's hard not to play or sing them for her when she asks so sweetly. It is amazing to hear her sing along with the songs. She may only get a few of the words right, but it's still evidence that my Pumpkin Pie is growing up. She also likes to help me in the kitchen and take showers with me now. Both of which are fun most of the time, but a bit of a hassle at other times. Since figuring out how to get to the kitchen counter, Emma has decided that is the ONLY place she will eat dinner. Fine with me. But while she's up there, she smears food in all the drawers. Oh well. Shower time is no longer my private quiet time. If Emma hears the shower, she makes a beeline to join me. She also asks for showers all day and all evening long... I have to have Paul distract her in the mornings from time to time, so I can take a nice super hot, super short shower by myself. But I wouldn't have it any other way. I love watching her point out her body parts and draw pictures with her bath crayons. I draw shapes for her, and she identifies more and more of them every week. She is such a smart little girl, and it amazes me every day.

An old game has come back as one of Emma's new favorites. That girl LOVES to play peek-a-boo. She'll hide behind something or put something in front of her face and say "where Emma?" When we ask where she is, she'll show herself and say "peek-a-boo!" She also likes asking where her daddy is. Even is he's standing in front of her, Emma will ask "Daddy? Where you?" When he says where he is, Emma giggles and thinks it's just the best thing ever.

Emma is more and more grown up every day. It's amazing and heartbreaking at the same time to see how quickly it happens. It's equally amazing and heartbreaking to see how quickly Asher is developing and growing bigger and bigger every day. I couldn't ask for more than my perfectly little family.