Monday, March 30, 2009

Dear Baby,

We will be at 40 weeks tomorrow. I know first time mommies sometimes go past their due date and only a small percent of mommies actually go in to labor on their due date. Wouldn't it be fun to beat the odds. You could come on your due date tomorrow. You would be born at 40 weeks and on your due date, thus going again TWO statistics. That sounds very fun to me!

I love you more than you will ever know, but you are putting me through quite a bit of pain. I am cramping constantly, but I am not contracting. My back feels like a donkey kicked me, and everything I eat makes my tummy hurt. You are obviously getting quite cramped, as your rear and feet are still in my ribs. I think it would be much better if you would just come out and meet all the people who are so excited for your arrival. Your room is ready, and Trixie and Lexus constantly check it to see if you are there yet. Your clothes are washed and folded and have been for several weeks. I have tried everything I can think of to try to coax you out. I have hiked, walked, hopped and marched around the house. I am taking evening primrose oil to help soften my cervix, and I have even used visualization. the doctor tore my insides apart to help aid in your arrival, yet you seem to find like in my tummy quite comfortable. I am concerned that I may have freaked you out by making you think life on the outside is strenuous and hectic. That is very much NOT so.

So from now on, I am going to try to relax. I will take a nice warm bath tonight, and we will listen to Beethoven. I think this is all going to turn out the way out breech situation did. No matter how hard I tried to flip you, you didn't budge until you were good and ready. I just thought I would make one final plea to you. We are so excited to meet you, and sooner would be preferable to later! We all love you, Baby, and hope to meet you soon!

Friday, March 27, 2009

Mystery Solved

Paul and I were wondering if my previous cryo surgery could have caused scar tissue, which is making it difficult for me to dilate. Before we could even ask the doctor, he said he was going to poke at me with sticks (in medical terms, of course) to see if he needed to break through scar tissue. Sure enough, I have scar tissue galore.

The following is a run through of what happened during our appointment yesterday. We get called back and I have gained 4 pounds in a week. The whole "drink a gallon of water a day" is a catch 22. I drink until I am too full to eat, and then I retain the water like a sponge and feel fat when I go in to get weighed. I know I am not fat. I am proud of my baby body, but some days are just harder to deal with than others. Especially when I know I am not progressing. So I go into the exam room and the nurse catches me crying (Paul was in the potty and was oblivious). the nurse is concerned, and I told her to just ignore me. I am tired, hormonal and in pain. My BP was perfect and my belly is measuring perfectly. Baby's heart rate sounded wonderful. Doctor comes in and tells the nurse to "go get some of the plastic dilators", I tell her to get the biggest ones she can find.

Doctor comes back in, pokes at me and props me up in the stirrups. Some of the next information may be TMI, but it's still memories for me. Just a warning to the squeemish. Doctor says it looks like my cervix is open a little bit, and he pokes at it with some plastic sticks. Not fun! Doctor says, "This hurts. I know". I say, "I'm pretty sure you don't know". To which he agrees. He says he is trying to break through scar tissue to see of he can get me to dilate enough for him to get his "big fingers" through. Speculum comes out and doctor attempts to break through with his finger. After trying to push through for a little while, he tells me to prop my hips up on my fists to try to move my cervix down further. He even tries coaxing my cervix, "come on down to me cervix", but to no avail. He can't get through. Meanwhile, nurse and Paul and rubbing my arms and my hair and I am practicing my breathing and singing Tom Petty songs in my head. All of which worked.

Doctor goes back in with the speculum to see what will fit through my tiny, closed cervix. He finds another stick of some sort, and that goes through without a problem. So he pokes around some more and decided he is going to poke at me with his finger one more time. He says, "I am going to try one more time", and I say "try really, really hard". He definitely listened. He told me to tell him when it got to be too much, and I told him to just do whatever he had to. I thought I knew pain before, but this was a whole brand new experience. It didn't hurt like cutting myself would hurt. It was mostly a lot of pressure. I told the doctor I was afraid I might pee on him, and he said it wouldn't be the first time. The nurse said I should just do it as pay back. Finally, finally the doctor says, "there we go. I got through!" Oh hooray!!!!!! He next tries to get his "fattest finger" through and once again succeeds. Hooray some more!!! He says, "I am stretching your cervix to try to break all of the scar tissue and keep you dilated". OWEEE!

Doctor, nurse and Paul all pat me and tell me I did wonderfully. I feel really proud of myself, as well. Doctor said he was able to get all the way through my cervix and even poke Baby in the head (knock knock Baby. It's time to come out!). There is guarantee that what he did will put me in labor any time soon, but at least we got through all the scar tissue. It's likely my body has been trying, but there was just too much. Doctor and nurse are both pretty sure I am going to pass out at any minute. Doctor says, "I'm not usually that aggressive, but I had to be in this case". I told him I was glad he was. Nurse says, "oh! You're shaking", and I say, "I'm sure I am!" I had to take a few seconds to compose myself, but I was so much happier. We had made progress. Progress I would likely never have made on my own!

All through the night and for much of today, I have been cramping. Boy do I hope these cramps are actually dong something now. Baby is pretty upset that he or she got poked in the head and has been extra aggressive today, but that's okay! You're days inside me are numbered, Baby!!!! I just hope that now we can do this on our own without an induction. This weekend seems like a good time to have a baby. I don't have anything else planned. Paul's ski time may get cut short, but he'll get over it. Wish us luck! At the very least, I will post another update after our next appointment on Thursday, but I really hope to have something to say before then!

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

I am a big fat walrus!

I sincerely hope every one enjoys my belly pictures, because they make me feel like a big fat walrus. Though when I am stuck on my back in bed, I feel like a big fat tortoise. And Paul would simply say that I am a water buffalo. Basically... I AM SO DONE!!!! I have a very patient child (very unlike Mommy, says Paul), so I am pretty sure Baby will be late. We had an appointment last Friday, and... you guessed it... NO PROGRESS! I have tried dancing, hiking up mountains, evening primrose oil, raspberry tea, spicy food, squats... You name it, I've tried it. Except for castor oil, which makes no sense to me, so I'm not trying it. If the doctor tells me on Thursday, "I still can't get my big finger in there", I am going to kick him in the face! I am still having random contractions, and Baby pushes so hard against my cervix that I want to cry, but this has been going on for WEEKS now, and to no avail. I love my baby so much. I am very glad that I am capable of carrying a baby to term, but I am done. Baby has cooked long enough. It is time to come out and meet Mommy and Daddy. And if one more person says, "have you had your baby yet?" while looking at my big fat walrus body, I am going to punch them in the face! I really am a happy mommy right now, but I am uncomfortable, and patience has never been a virtue of mine. I just needed to vent. Baby and I are doing very well. I still have not gained any more weight (I'm not sure where all the cream pie shakes are hiding), and my blood pressure is perfect. I have very slight swelling, and my tummy is measuring right on. Baby has a beautiful heart rate, which makes us all happy. What an amazing thing to be able to grow such a perfect little person so easily. I may be moderately uncomfortable and moody as heck (but what else is new), but you would seriously think growing a little person should be harder to do. Just wait until I meet this baby. Then I'll really be shocked at how efficient this fat walrus body can be!

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

37 Week Update

We had another appointment on Thursday. All is well. We discovered the reason the doctor couldn't find my cervix is because it's already in an anterior position. Baby's head is down low and my cervix is facing the right way... so why won't Baby come?!?!?! I am just so ready to meet him or her, and so is Paul. Everyone keeps telling me to be patient, but I have never been a patient person. I am very, very tempted to go train for a marathon or maybe sing horrible opera until Baby gets fed up enough to come out! As I am writing this, by the way, I am 38 weeks. So, I'm not really hoping for a 3 week early baby. I just call this my 37 week update, as I had intended to share our doctor's office experience. Basically, all is well. I am healthy, and Baby is too. Paul and I get more and more excited every day. I did not gain any more weight, though I did have a coconut cream pie shake two days in a row afterward, so we'll see what happens this Friday. My blood pressure spiked while having a particularly painful contraction at the doctor's office, but they went away and my BP went back down. I am starting to swell, though not horribly. I can't sleep from 3-5 AM for some reason. I have been sick with a cold, but it is going away. We got our coming home outfit, so all is ready for Baby's arrival. Not much more to update on. Oh! Baby likes to poke really hard with his or her feet, so that's fun to watch! That's really all I have for now!

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Week 36

We had an appointment on March 6th and an ultrasound to check Baby's position. the appointment went well. So far no progress, but that's okay. The ultrasound was fantastic. Baby is head down, and the tech says Baby is getting long. Baby was sleeping and looked so peaceful. Baby also already has some hair. Maybe not a lot, but at least there is enough to see in the ultrasound. I have been having a lot of cramping, but nothing too terribly painful. Baby doesn't seem to like the cramping and kicks me or wiggles a lot when it happens. Paul and I have another appointment tomorrow, and this time I am hoping for some progress. Now that Baby is head down, we are ready! KNowing the ornery child I am growing, Baby will be a week late... at least!